How can something inspiring be a little crushing at the same time?
This morning I got to practice next to one this countries’ best yogis- Afton. I love Afton, she’s an amazing teacher and super nice outside the hot room. She has the most beautiful practice. Since she’s getting ready for the international competition, she’s taking tons of class.
I practiced next to her in beginner, sneaking peaks in the mirror when I could. Such an inspiration! After a 30 minute break we’re back in the room for advanced. First off, advanced is extremely difficult. I’m being nice to myself when I say I can do maybe 25% of it. I’ve had plenty of classes that end up being very negative for me. I’m sure this happens to everyone-“I’ll never be able to do this” “I’m terrible”, “why do I spent all this time doing this when I’m so bad”. Such negative energy! I’ve worked on staying positive, even a teacher pointed out that I’m judging myself against the best yogis, and that it’s OK to be imperfect in advanced (being the bottom of the top kind of thinking). I get it- and I’ve really been positive in my thinking for a while now. But seeing how someone can bend that way and do it so gracefully can be a little defeating.
I was so inspired this morning and a little defeated at the same time. Does that mean it all evens out?
On a side note, RT is out all afternoon and you know what I’ve done after my yoga marathon this morning? Read outside, eat a smoothie (22 to go), epsom salt bath, and now I’m wearing a face-mask and drinking homemade iced green tea with lemon and looking at beautiful yoga pictures online! Guilty pleasures!